Hand Jobs For Christ

I'm pleased to announce my birthday today and thought we might as well get to my wish-list:

1. A handjob
2. a Hot Carl
3. A trip to Ames' Bisexual Group
4. A Footbal Party
5. A date with goatse

Vive la difference! or Three Cheers for French Gynecology (God Knows They Need It)

Well, it's that time of year again here in Iowa, where everyone you meet keeps telling you "It's not the heat, it's the stupidity!" Then follows it up with a Rick James schtick and oh jesus christ.

Well, the Johnson County Fair has a web site, but a really bad website done by a terrible company from somewhere near Des Moines that besides Crap-tacularly bad web design with stock photos isn't registered correctly with the search sites so you can't find it. I think they're up to 3,600 hits and the fair started 12 hours ago! (For reference I get 3,600 hits before I've even had an orgasm, and that's on a slow day). ((Angie gets even more than that, but that's because of her special personalized service where she comments on EVERY post, and then at the end of the year you get a pair of soiled panties. Not sure if they're hers though, could be an old pair Jeff left behind. But I digress.))

But anyway, if you're willing to brave the temperatures you can really get into some hot action: Carnies wearing Wrangler jeans pulled up past their navels, cheap cowboy boots, Skoal, and Brut 33 if you're lucky. I'm dog tired from hauling fares back and forth all day and then making spare change in the back of the cab - making up for lost time, what with not having seen let alone touched some of the carnies since last year. There's something about seeing bull penises and horse cocks not to mention rams and goats that gets my juices flowing.


But back to the title of my post: the petting zoo smells like French crotch (you know, you can smell it from 5 or 10 feet away). Just in case you didn't know.

Fill My Eyes with that Double Vision

Do you think it makes any difference that because of my disability, the homo rainbow flag looks like the German flag to me?

Does that mean that German homosexuality is more hot? Leatherboys come in all nationalities and flavors, but a little bee on the wall says no one wears leather, latex, or spandex like the Berliners under Communist control (hint: Totalitarian regimes are great for instigating outlaw sex).

I was going through my library the other day to give Cooter a sack full'o self-help books along with some of my expired Ritalin when I remembered the "Hot or Not" contest she had told me about. So I included several Hitler books in her sack. Usually, comparisons to Hitler are good for one's self image.

Goutsexy

In celebration of my hot condition and in homage to the sexy sonsgter from Minneapolis, I'm announcing today that my next album will be called Goutsexy. Just imagine me on the cover instead of Prince.

Oddly enough, it seems that increased sexual activity reduced uric acid levels in men. Makes me wonder how bad my condition would be if I had a normal amount of sex instead of the maniacal amount that I do for work.

Say Hello to Jolly Roger

Gay Roger, Roger the Wad, or my hacker nome de plume "LeZB1Guy69", I'm a sexual cabbie with a difference. I thought that maybe like the artist once formerly known as and now once again known as Prince perhaps I should work off of my growing internet and local notoriety and come out with a kind of symbol or logo or icon to help better represent me and my brand identity.

And what better symbol than something based on the classic art of Piracy? Men with more men for months at a time on a boat, getting tanned and in-shape, never mind a little scurvy. Plus, think of all the possibilities of hooks and peg legs (mind the splinters!) for play!

So today I'm announcing my new logo. Don't mind the fact that I can't really see the rainbow what with being color blind: it's the thought (and the gay actions) that count: