Feels Like the Last Time

Sorry for the delays in posting, it's been a relatively obnoxious Spring what with trips to the emergency ward, endless back troubles, Cooter calling me Twice (! WTF !!!) to deal with hitchhiker processing, the Special Olympics, I mean, I have only so much time and when I can only leave the West Wing for a maximum of 8 hours a week things stack up pretty fast.

I got into a fight with the Irish Cow the other day because of our mutual delusions. So, according to the Cow, he always has at least 4 beautiful women interested in him but one that he is chasing and is unattainable because of religious differences (hint: he is a neo-con Libertarian, you figure out the rest). But while we were relaxing and looking at my nude photo I mean painting the other night in the West Wing he brought up the old cliché that you should treat your significant other like you're never going to see them again when you part with a heartfelt embrace, because of the vagaries of existence and things like car wrecks, terrorism, and fast-acting V.D.

Well, like everything with the Cow, he is only half right. You see, like most of middle class or as I might refer to, bourgeois America, people get kind of perverted and get by living only half of their lives, you know, drinking Light Beer, eating at Chain Restaurants, driving Mazdas, you get the picture.

I spit my beer on the Cow and explained my philosophy: No, you fucking shit. You don't "kiss them" or "hug them" like it's the last time you're going to see them. YOU FUCK THEM LIKE IT'S A FUCKING NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST IN 15 MINUTES. I shouldn't have to qualify this for you, but, anal, oral, 69, b&d, waterworks, cleveland steamer, talking dirty, shit, man, the fucking works. EVERY TIME YOU ARE OUT OF EACH OTHERS' SIGHT. Or going to be so for more time than it takes to accomplish the requisite list of necessary bodily functions, like a minimum of 45 minutes. That's like $80 in the cab!!!

Just so we're clear on this shit.