Christmas for Hitler, and Germany

On the streets people call you a foxy girl
Me I'm loose like a golden goose, you can have my juice
-Marc Bolan (T. Rex)"Electric Slim and the Factory Hen"

As Christmas time approaches I don't want to make the same mistakes I've made in previous years. I am sick to death of seeing that ghost of Christmas Present, that old fucker of Christmases Past, etc., etc. And Tiny Tim can tiptoe through the tulips with or without his crutches for all I care.

So this year I want to be your personal, juicy Christmas goose. And if you want me to be as tender and accomodating as I know you want me to be, then you're going to gift me some bling. And lest we make any mistakes, I thought I'd offer up a few suggestions. (By the way, I'm also registered under "Donner Party" at Target).

For example,this shirt says a lot of what I'm about. Also, the walls have been bare since the last roommate moved out so some posters might be nice. (Man, I love that store. Just look at one of the customer reviews: "I always give my kids poster art for gifts. I naked nude men think they love it so much because it never wears out. Every morning they get up and it's just as good as the day before. Especially with sports posters of their favorite football teams. I even had their favorite bands like blink 182 and some p diddy posters framed for them. Britney spears would even look good on my wall homoerotic men male naked nude art posters prints sculpture. ")

Anyway, either that or some reading material, or some other reading material.

Or maybe a a thong. Whatever blows your skirt up.

Pancakes for breakfast - or anytime!

Back in Minneapolis' musical heyday - the 1980s - there were a lot of great bands. The Replacements, Soul Asylum, Hüsker Dü, the Geardaddies, Prince, and of course my former lover Willie Wisely. I look back on those days with a certain nostalgia, a certain je ne sais quois...good times.

You might not be aware that Dave Pirner from Soul Asylum had lovely blonde dreadlocks for a while, until he got a scalp infection and had to have his head shaved! Or maybe you weren't in the audience that night that Alex Chilton wouldn't let that asshole from the Jayhawks get up on stage with him, when he said any baby born on that day was cursed! And lets face it, Alex knows his astrology.

But long before Grant Young had been forced out of Soul Asylum, or Grant Hart had his tribe, the bass player for Hüsker Dü, Greg Norton, had a tradition that I would like to bring back: the semi-nude pancake breakfast. See, Greg liked to invite people over for pancakes, and cook them naked - except for his apron!

Iowa City - you've been served! The pancake feasts in my loft are about to begin. Elizabeth Street will never again be the same.

Tromboning the light fantastic

The other night while I was making some spare change at the bus station one of my clients brought tromboning to my attention.

By the way, don't you think that Andy Dick is fucking hilarious?

Isn't everything that's impractical worth the effort in the long run?