May I interest you in the PuPu Platter?

Or perhaps you'd prefer the Man-Goo Soup? They both come highly recommended by both the chef, and myself.

Back before teh internets, children, people got their porn in magazines and VHS, with titles like Swank, Jugs, Oui, WeeWee, and of course my favorite, The Cleveland Steamer's Gentlemen's Companion.

Just wanted to remind you of this before the world before the magic of teh internets fades into a distant memory. Hell, grandpa used to jack off to crayon drawings scrawled on the outhouse wall. Now that I can download multiple streams of high-quality grade-A hot amateur MILF action at any time of the night or day, on my phone even, I have to say that the Enlightenment worked.

Now this is what I'm talking about

Is it any wonder that Communism was popular?

Totem Poles and Glory Holes

Okay, so Bareback Mountain finally showed up, and yes, it brought a sticky, semen-y tear to my eye. But now, the theaters are still against me, because the new Glory Hole movie is not in town. Those of you who know me well know that I love Glory Holes even more than Gay Cowboys. I've been trying to talk Skippy into getting such Glory Holes standardized in all the cubicles at his job. It would make that coffee break all the more satisfying.

Bareback Mountain

It's not enough that that new upstart cab company (the competition) has new Toyota Scions and Matrixes and Camrys, but the damned CEC Theaters just won't bring "Bareback Mountain" to town. "Discrimination!" I cry. Why can't we see a couple smelly cowboys share a sleeping bag, and much more, out in the Old West? Why, God, why not?

The only way I've been able to bear the interminable wait is by listening to Kenny Chesney CDs non-stop in the cab. Renee Zellweger sure didn't know what she had her hands on, now, did she? (Hint: shaving or waxing off all your body hair is practiced by less than 1% of heterosexual males).