Roger's Gay Taxi

Confessions of a taxi driver addicted to the 'Doctor', pizza and Cubs baseball in no particular order. Not just for women who can't have orgasms

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Feels Like the Last Time

Sorry for the delays in posting, it's been a relatively obnoxious Spring what with trips to the emergency ward, endless back troubles, Cooter calling me Twice (! WTF !!!) to deal with hitchhiker processing, the Special Olympics, I mean, I have only so much time and when I can only leave the West Wing for a maximum of 8 hours a week things stack up pretty fast.

I got into a fight with the Irish Cow the other day because of our mutual delusions. So, according to the Cow, he always has at least 4 beautiful women interested in him but one that he is chasing and is unattainable because of religious differences (hint: he is a neo-con Libertarian, you figure out the rest). But while we were relaxing and looking at my nude photo I mean painting the other night in the West Wing he brought up the old cliché that you should treat your significant other like you're never going to see them again when you part with a heartfelt embrace, because of the vagaries of existence and things like car wrecks, terrorism, and fast-acting V.D.

Well, like everything with the Cow, he is only half right. You see, like most of middle class or as I might refer to, bourgeois America, people get kind of perverted and get by living only half of their lives, you know, drinking Light Beer, eating at Chain Restaurants, driving Mazdas, you get the picture.

I spit my beer on the Cow and explained my philosophy: No, you fucking shit. You don't "kiss them" or "hug them" like it's the last time you're going to see them. YOU FUCK THEM LIKE IT'S A FUCKING NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST IN 15 MINUTES. I shouldn't have to qualify this for you, but, anal, oral, 69, b&d, waterworks, cleveland steamer, talking dirty, shit, man, the fucking works. EVERY TIME YOU ARE OUT OF EACH OTHERS' SIGHT. Or going to be so for more time than it takes to accomplish the requisite list of necessary bodily functions, like a minimum of 45 minutes. That's like $80 in the cab!!!

Just so we're clear on this shit.

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Bobby Brown Likes Dried Up Poo

Look, I may have a fascination for it myself. I've always given props to Mr. Brown for bagging such a lovely lady, but the fact that he has the wherewithal to probe around in her butt looking for nuggets of wisdom is just icing on the cake. Or fudge on the sundae. you get my drift. Bobby Brown Banged Up For A Month

Monday, January 22, 2007

When I'm an Old Woman I'll Wear a Big Purple Strap-On

Because Purple is so Sexy.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Hot Asian Chick Digs Buttsecks and Boyfriend-Bung-Banging

Wow, just discovered through Steve Jobs' Blog a link to a very enticing, smart, and sexually adventurous co-ed.



I wonder if she and her wuss-ass boyfriend need understand their need for a third party who might be a hot, bisexual cab driver with a light case of the Gout?

Her lovely blog is located here.

Monday, November 06, 2006

What a Month!

Well, here in the sanctity of the West Wing it's been a rough month. Usually I'm one who adores the spotlight, but all this media attention is getting a bit much. First, as I've already posted, some of the three-way congressional page instant messaging sessions I was involved with got out and made a little bit of a scandal. Sheesh, it's not like they were that bad, kind of like Junior High Health Class.

Meanwhile, that starts to die down a little bit and that this little tiff with a certain Fundamentalist Pastor I've been massaging, selling drugs to, and banging on the side takes on a life of it's own.

Still, while I'm waiting for things to die down a little, I'll offer up these words of advice if you find yourself caught in a similar pickle.

What's the first thing you tell a John who's nervous about his wife finding out about his little session in the Gay Taxi? To repeat these words:

'Oh, honey... I wouldn't have been having those meth-fueled ass-banging sessions with that gay hooker if you hadn't have let yourself go like that!'

Monday, October 09, 2006

North Korean Test Appears to Be Fairly Small

...just like Kim Jong Il's penis.

Monday, October 02, 2006

My Instant Messages are a Matter of Public Record

GayRoger69 (7:35:45 PM): not yet

Skippy4ever (7:36:06 PM): cool cool...

GayRoger69 (7:37:27 PM): how my favorite young stud doing

Skippy4ever (7:37:46 PM): tired and sore

Skippy4ever (7:37:52 PM): i didnt no waltzing could make you sore

GayRoger69 (7:38:04 PM): from what

Skippy4ever (7:38:34 PM): what do you mean from what

Skippy4ever (7:38:42 PM): from waltzing...im sore from waltzing

GayRoger69 (7:39:32 PM): tahts good

GayRoger69 (7:39:32 PM): you need a massage

GayRoger69 signed off at 7:39:37 PM.

GayRoger69 signed on at 7:40:35 PM.

GayRoger69 (7:42:27 PM): love to watch that

GayRoger69 (7:42:33 PM): those great legs running

GayRoger69 (7:46:33 PM): did any girl give you a haand job this weekend

Skippy4ever (7:46:38 PM): lol no

Skippy4ever (7:46:40 PM): im single right now

Skippy4ever (7:46:57 PM): my last gf and i broke up a few weeks agi

GayRoger69 (7:47:11 PM): are you

GayRoger69 (7:47:11 PM): good so your getting horny

Skippy4ever (7:47:29 PM): lol...a bit

GayRoger69 (7:48:00 PM): did you spank it this weekend yourself

GayRoger69 (7:43:27 PM): well dont ruin my mental picture

Skippy4ever (7:43:32 PM): oh lol...sorry

GayRoger69 (7:43:54 PM): nice

GayRoger69 (7:43:54 PM): youll be way hot then

Skippy4ever (7:44:01 PM): haha...hopefully

GayRoger69 (7:44:22 PM): better be

GayRoger69 (7:53:24 PM): on your back

Skippy4ever (7:53:30 PM): no face down

GayRoger69 (7:53:32 PM): love details

Skippy4ever (7:53:34 PM): lol

Skippy4ever (7:53:36 PM): i see that

Skippy4ever (7:53:37 PM): lol

GayRoger69 (7:53:39 PM): really

GayRoger69 (7:53:54 PM): do you really do it face down

Skippy4ever (7:54:03 PM): ya

GayRoger69 (7:54:13 PM): kneeling

Skippy4ever (7:54:31 PM): well i dont use my hand...i use the bed itself

GayRoger69 (7:54:31 PM): where do you unload it

Skippy4ever (7:54:36 PM): towel

GayRoger69 (7:54:43 PM): really

GayRoger69 (7:55:02 PM): completely naked?

GayRoger69 (7:55:51 PM): cute butt bouncing in the air

Skippy4ever (7:56:00 PM): haha

Skippy4ever (7:56:05 PM): well ive never watched myslef

Skippy4ever (7:56:08 PM): but ya i guess

GayRoger69 (7:56:18 PM): i am sure not

GayRoger69 (7:56:22 PM): hmmm

GayRoger69 (7:56:30 PM): great visual

GayRoger69 (7:56:39 PM): i may try that

Skippy4ever (7:56:43 PM): it works

GayRoger69 (7:56:51 PM): hmm

GayRoger69 (7:56:57 PM): sound inetersting

GayRoger69 (7:57:05 PM): i always use lotion and the hand

GayRoger69 (7:57:10 PM): but who knows