You haven't had sex unless Terry Gross has talked dirty to you
Some people get the wrong idea about me, that I jump straight for the clitoris, penis, or rectum. While I have been known to, I must strenously protest that this is not always the case. I am fully capable of being kind, caring, and slow. Because every special lady needs to have her special day in-between batshit crazy multiple orgasms, pornography and John Holmes-like marathon sex sessions.
For example, take the other night. Zornig had complained that I hadn't spent enough "quality time" with him lately. While I would call all our time together quality (particularly the time in the back of the cab - RUAS is _always_ quality...), I could see where he was coming from. So despite my swollen Gout-infected knee and elephantitis of the nuts, I squeezed into my Shatner girdle and put on some bobby socks, a mohair sweater and a nice '50s skirt. A little makeup, and I was stunning.
I had a surprise for him - a ride to West Liberty to the Maid Rite! We ate loose meat sandwiches and sipped on our milkshake straws suggestively. On the way back to I.C. on Highway 6, Zorning threw in a little special tape that he had downloaded off the internet - he is such a computer Genius! - it was even better than my leaked voicemails! Anyway, it was Terry Gross talking dirty and engaging in sexual activites with several gay, straight, bi and trans-gendered fans in a kind of orgy of NPR. I think they were all really big donors during the fundraiser in Philadelphia or something. Anyway, just incredible. I've always had a thing for DJ's, but the way she wore the strap-on, you could hear it! Amazing.
Anyway, Z. really liked the special effort I had gone to, so we ended up both going home happy. Now I hear Skippy's jealous.
Props to Larry - saw you hauling turkeys, but I couldn't straighten up long enough to wave "Hi!"
For example, take the other night. Zornig had complained that I hadn't spent enough "quality time" with him lately. While I would call all our time together quality (particularly the time in the back of the cab - RUAS is _always_ quality...), I could see where he was coming from. So despite my swollen Gout-infected knee and elephantitis of the nuts, I squeezed into my Shatner girdle and put on some bobby socks, a mohair sweater and a nice '50s skirt. A little makeup, and I was stunning.
I had a surprise for him - a ride to West Liberty to the Maid Rite! We ate loose meat sandwiches and sipped on our milkshake straws suggestively. On the way back to I.C. on Highway 6, Zorning threw in a little special tape that he had downloaded off the internet - he is such a computer Genius! - it was even better than my leaked voicemails! Anyway, it was Terry Gross talking dirty and engaging in sexual activites with several gay, straight, bi and trans-gendered fans in a kind of orgy of NPR. I think they were all really big donors during the fundraiser in Philadelphia or something. Anyway, just incredible. I've always had a thing for DJ's, but the way she wore the strap-on, you could hear it! Amazing.
Anyway, Z. really liked the special effort I had gone to, so we ended up both going home happy. Now I hear Skippy's jealous.
Props to Larry - saw you hauling turkeys, but I couldn't straighten up long enough to wave "Hi!"
