I Am the King of Anal Sex
Most of you know me as Roger, some might call me "Gay Roger" or "The Rog". Those that remember me from my porn career often refer to me as "Roger the Wad". And my Lesbian students know me as the "King of Cunnilingus". But the hat I'm wearing today that I would like you all to know about is my identity as the King of Anal Sex.
Royalty? Why yes, I'll give you a regal fucking...in the ass!
I don't care whether you're tossing my salad or I'm tossing yours—the important thing is that there is a salad being tossed.
But please remember, that the heart of the whole matter is the R.U.A.S. And it is around this topic that I would like to make a few points clear. Lately, some people in the cab have tried to "butter me up" by talking about their little pansy anal adventures, gently massaging it or pampering it or giving each other whipped-cream enemas. They are entirely missing the point. If it's not Rough and it's not Unprotected, then I do not give it the Gay Roger seal of R.U.A.S. approval.
At the other end of the spectrum lays the evil opposite of the R.U.A.S. - something we call G.P.A.P. or Gentle, Protected Anal Play. Some of you might think that G.P.A.P. is a good place to start, and much like aspirin can be a so called "gateway" drug to strong pain relievers such as Aleve or Maximum Strength Tylenol (and look, you might be needing this after a particularly vigorous bout of R.U.A.S, but that's beside the point), but I strongly disagree. G.P.A.P. gives none of the benefits of true R.U.A.S. such as enlightenment, eradication of depression, and the post-coital feeling of having attended a Dale Carnegie motivational speech.
So next time someone's twiddling their little pinkie up your bum while wearing a surgical latex glove, speak up and ask for it Rough and Unprotected. You'll be glad you did.
Royalty? Why yes, I'll give you a regal fucking...in the ass!
I don't care whether you're tossing my salad or I'm tossing yours—the important thing is that there is a salad being tossed.
But please remember, that the heart of the whole matter is the R.U.A.S. And it is around this topic that I would like to make a few points clear. Lately, some people in the cab have tried to "butter me up" by talking about their little pansy anal adventures, gently massaging it or pampering it or giving each other whipped-cream enemas. They are entirely missing the point. If it's not Rough and it's not Unprotected, then I do not give it the Gay Roger seal of R.U.A.S. approval.
At the other end of the spectrum lays the evil opposite of the R.U.A.S. - something we call G.P.A.P. or Gentle, Protected Anal Play. Some of you might think that G.P.A.P. is a good place to start, and much like aspirin can be a so called "gateway" drug to strong pain relievers such as Aleve or Maximum Strength Tylenol (and look, you might be needing this after a particularly vigorous bout of R.U.A.S, but that's beside the point), but I strongly disagree. G.P.A.P. gives none of the benefits of true R.U.A.S. such as enlightenment, eradication of depression, and the post-coital feeling of having attended a Dale Carnegie motivational speech.
So next time someone's twiddling their little pinkie up your bum while wearing a surgical latex glove, speak up and ask for it Rough and Unprotected. You'll be glad you did.
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