The American will is easily satisfied in its efforts to realize itself in knowing itself.
-Wallace Stevens
I like to pride myself on my self-realization while at all times keeping the others guessing. Is Roger going to deliver a sermon, or wet the bed? I hear them ask. Well, what if I'm about to do both, simultaneously?
I had my "Free Sex Advice" sign taped on the back of the cab Saturday while I was driving the drunks around. I figure that I might as well be of service to the community in any way these two hands, 10 fingers, two balls and one ass can. Besides, I've made some of my best friends that way.
The first taker was a little bleach-frosted sorority number with pink lipstick. Her problem was that whenever she had sex she threw up. I quickly solved her problems by telling her to drink wine in the future, avoid long-island iced teas, and have sex sober if all else fails. Besides, if the RUAS is rough enough, your body is too busy dealing with the RUAS to even think about throwing up. Trust me.
I like to pride myself on my self-realization while at all times keeping the others guessing. Is Roger going to deliver a sermon, or wet the bed? I hear them ask. Well, what if I'm about to do both, simultaneously?
I had my "Free Sex Advice" sign taped on the back of the cab Saturday while I was driving the drunks around. I figure that I might as well be of service to the community in any way these two hands, 10 fingers, two balls and one ass can. Besides, I've made some of my best friends that way.
The first taker was a little bleach-frosted sorority number with pink lipstick. Her problem was that whenever she had sex she threw up. I quickly solved her problems by telling her to drink wine in the future, avoid long-island iced teas, and have sex sober if all else fails. Besides, if the RUAS is rough enough, your body is too busy dealing with the RUAS to even think about throwing up. Trust me.
3 Comments:
At 7:05 PM,
Roger said…
Gee, Andrea, I'm glad you're a fan. Maybe you'd like to stop by for a Dirty Sanchez sometime?
At 6:48 PM,
Roger said…
Mookah -
Don't forget that fisting comes in two flavors: vaginal, and anal (Rare is the girl who can do both simultaneously). It sounds like you're talking about the rectal variety unless you've been incessantly double-dipping. Me, I like Ranch dressing, but that comes from a long history of tossed salads. Don't forget: too much or too little lube can lead to a nasty little prolapse.
At 6:51 PM,
Roger said…
Oops forgot. Don't get the stains out - sell the sheets on Ebay. You'll make a bundle.
Post a Comment
<< Home