All You Can Eat Buffet - in my Cab!

In the taxi industry, we're entering what we in the business call the "golden years" or "the days of milk and honey" or "the halcyon age". Et in arcadia ego. I call it the days of aching balls and ass of white-hot pain-fire from so much enforced sitting and anal play, because with the falling of the leaves comes Home Football Weekends and lots of money to be made driving drunken fans all over town, and even more to be made by sexual delicacies.

My old boss Earl killed himself by self-immolation a couple weeks back (he couldn't stand the thought of leaving the bus station, and in particular, the bathroom - but that's a story for another post). As it turns out, the owner's nephew is a French transvestite prostitue with an M.B.A. and he/she has had several ideas to increase business even more, if that's possible. Which is why I am now introducing our special price fixe menu for Monday through Wednesdays:

Price Fixe (Monday through Wednesday)
1 Hors D'Oeuvre, 1 First, 1 Second (excluding Hot Karl), 1 Dessert - $40


Normal Menu

Hors d'oeuvres
Rocky Mountain Oysters $9
Le Lance Armstrong $5 (1/2 order)
Dagenham Wank $8
Fruit Bowl $6

First Course
Piss Bisque $8
Spanish Fly Gazpacho $7
Paella de Skank $9

Second Course
Manchester Facial $18
Cassoulet $14
Hot Karl $28

Dessert
Dirty Sanchez $12
Stinky Binkey $8
Crême Bradlaise $8